Can I say that i'm not thrilled to be back as much as I thought i would be. I'm glad to be back with my friends that have stuck by me through years, but this move has put so much strain on Marty and I. This move was mainly for Marty...it was his dream job and I couldn't let him pass this up...we knew I wouldn't have a job right away but with me not working, its got things looking like a few times in our past.
I feel so depressed these days. I have made Marty one of the most important things in my life and I feel everything slipping away. He tells me things are fine and that everything is going good these days, but the way he acts lately is driving me crazy. He has his moments of just being the guy of my dreams the sweet amazing guy i fell in love with...and then he has his moments where i think he wishes i didn't exist.
I got myself a part-time job starting at Lowes in a week or so hopefully things start looking up. Classes are almost done with for the semester and currently I have all A(s). Hopefully I finish the semester with that...
I could really use a wish right now...someone please give me a break...life shouldn't always be so difficult...
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
My First Blog but definitley not my last
I've never written my own blog but I think it will be a good outlet for my frustration and I honestly dont care if anyone reads this. This blog is for me and if I piss anyone off thats not my intention but dont come after me about it.
Today I got told not to come into work. For anyone who doesn't know already, I hate my job so I don't particularly mind. Dont get me wrong, its not the kids or what I do with them everyday, but rather the horrible people I work with. I believe they are the biggest cause of my stress and frustration, and you will probably be hearing plenty more about work down the road.
My friendships are another chapter of my life that i'm unsure about it. I dont have many friends these days and the ones I do have I question a lot. The one girl I thought would always be there stabbed me in the back...so, i have a lot of trust issues when it comes to friends.
The best thing in my life is my Marty. He is my best friend, my lover, and my sanity. When I'm having my horrible days, he always makes it better. Lately we've been talking about getting married and spending our lives together forever.Every other day were talking about the kids we will eventually be having. Unfortunately we're not engaged but things are going that way and that really excites me and has me hopeful. Keeps me going.
Well doesn't really tell you too much but I'm sure I will be writing more in the next few weeks.
Today I got told not to come into work. For anyone who doesn't know already, I hate my job so I don't particularly mind. Dont get me wrong, its not the kids or what I do with them everyday, but rather the horrible people I work with. I believe they are the biggest cause of my stress and frustration, and you will probably be hearing plenty more about work down the road.
My friendships are another chapter of my life that i'm unsure about it. I dont have many friends these days and the ones I do have I question a lot. The one girl I thought would always be there stabbed me in the back...so, i have a lot of trust issues when it comes to friends.
The best thing in my life is my Marty. He is my best friend, my lover, and my sanity. When I'm having my horrible days, he always makes it better. Lately we've been talking about getting married and spending our lives together forever.Every other day were talking about the kids we will eventually be having. Unfortunately we're not engaged but things are going that way and that really excites me and has me hopeful. Keeps me going.
Well doesn't really tell you too much but I'm sure I will be writing more in the next few weeks.
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